why did I get so heavy?
I’m in it for the long hall. I need to be on the biggest looser so jillian can kick my but! One thing I have learned is i have to own up to what is really wrong in my life. So here’s my story. I had a great child hood. I was a daddies little girl. We loved to ride bikes, play basketball, ect… I always wanted to please him. He once told me He would give me money for good grades! $5 for A’s, $2.50 for B’s and if I got a C he didn’t want to know me. I thought that was a little harsh, but guess what I never let him down. I got strait A’s. Daddies little girl to the core. We went to the mall, movies, park together. He would help me with my home work and play uno! that was my favorite game. One day I got picked up from school my mom took me to a shelter and took me from my dad. They were going to get a divorce. I thought whatever makes them happy, but why did I have to leave my home, my dad, my whole life? I just didn’t like my mom much. I continued to live with her, but got to see my dad quite a bit. One 4th of july my whole world was crushed. My dad wasn’t feeling well. I went with my mom to see fire works. I got the call up at my grandma’s that my father had passed away. I hated him for leaving me. I was stuck with my mom. I was 15 and all alone. By the age of 16 I moved out on my own working 2 jobs and going to school. I had to get out of my moms house. I couldn’t take it anymore. When I was 18 I started dating the father of my two beautiful little girls. I had my first daughter a year later. He was very verbally abusive and controlling. Even so I married him. We had our second daughter. Finally I just couldn’t take the abuse anylonger. I moved out and have been raising my two little girls all on my own. I find christmas the worst. I hate being along on christmas. I have my girls, but it’s just not as fun all by yourself. I love them so dear. They deserve to have a mom that’s not always tired. So here I am owning up to everything. The truth is I should have never let myself go for so long. All I did was take care of my girls with no regard on how i was. That’s all going to change starting now. I can’t change the past only grow from it! thanks all for listening. I wish all of you luck in your journey as well!
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Just so you know, you are a wonderful person! You are doing what is right for yourself and your girls! By getting out of an abusive relationship early on, you have saved yourself many future nightmares I am sure, not only for yourself, but again for your daughters. I am betting that you are where you are weight wise because of the abuse and maybe eating was your ONLY source of comfort for a long time. Don’t let it get you down. I can see you are brushing yourself off and getting back on track. But brushing yourself off is not a one time process…we find cobwebs from time to time that stay hidden for a long time and come out when we least expect it. Hold on to your dreams, your goals, and more than anything, your little ones! This Christmas, maybe plan ahead to spend time with others as much as possible to help that lonely feeling stay tucked away.
Best wishes!
Tracy
You did the right thing and in your heart you know you did , you will create strong woman , who will never put up with such treatment ! Maybe try something different on Christmas, make stockings for needy children visit some retirement homes , call around see if some one needs some thing you can make,Maybe get together with a family member and do this , new traditions . . . Losing weight is just not dropping pounds but gaining yourself back when you start to lose you will gain so much more
Good luck !
I have a messy past and I understand. My kids did not get the most motivated mom in the world, but they turned out great. You show them love and you don’t have to be perfect. Take time out for yourself as I waited too long. Wish I would have done it sooner.